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The day has come! The kids go back to school. This year, Hailie is in 7th grade, Lorianna is in 5th and her last year of elementary school and Leslie is going into 3rd grade. These kids keep growing up right before my eyes! Why does it seem that time goes faster and faster the older they get? Why can’t time slow down for just a little while? We have worked hard to get the kids back into a routine over the last couple of weeks, knowing that it will make the first day of school easier.

After the obligatory first day of school photo shoot, of course Hailie had to have some with kittens, we walk Lorianna and Leslie to school for their first day. Since they are both in the same hallway this year, I don’t have to leave one right away to walk another to class. Since we pass Lorianna’s class first, I drop her off and quickly touch base with the teacher. I introduce the VNS magnet, show her how to find the device in the chest and how to touch the magnet to it to break a seizure. Listening to Lorianna’s voice vibrate after setting off the VNS, I know she will be fine. She knows the routine and will quickly get back into it. She sees friends and heads over to hang out with them. I watch as they walk down to the cafeteria for breakfast. Over the past couple of years, she has matured and has become much better with transitions.

Then I take Leslie on down the hall to her classroom. I have a harder time here, because Leslie is my baby. There is no way she could possibly be a big 3rd grader. Feeling tears start to well up in the eyes, I take a couple deep breaths and help Leslie find her desk. I walk over and talk to the teacher while Leslie gets settled and then we take a couple more pictures and she heads to the cafeteria for breakfast finding a couple of her friends along the way. Feeling like my job is done there, I walk back home, Kyle in tow. He won’t start till next week, and that will be another hard day for me. But for now, it’s just the girls starting school.

Once back home, it’s time to get into the car and drive Hailie to school. She still refuses to ride the morning bus. She says it’s because she likes having one on one time with me. I’ll take that for now, knowing that the day will come when she won’t want that anymore. A short drive later, I pull up in the drop off line and wait. I wish that she would ask me to come in and walk her to her class, but I know that she is growing up and doesn’t need me to walk her to class anymore. After telling her to have a good day she gets out of the car and walks into school, not glancing back. I watch a friend of hers run over and they walk in together. Not able to stop the tears now, I drive home, sobbing like a baby. I ask myself one more time, “when did these kids get so big.”

Back home, I cuddle with Kyle, enjoying the moment with him. Soon he too will be starting school and I won’t have a cuddle partner when I’m feeling sad. He hops up and gives me a kiss on the cheek before turning on the TV and pulling out some toys to play with. I sit down and look at the pictures I’ve already taken. I go back and look at previous first day of school pictures and think about how much each child has grown over the years. Tears start welling up in my eyes again, so I get up and fix breakfast for Kyle. I think about next year when Kyle will get to start kindergarten and can’t stop the tears. My kids are all getting so big and its going to be so different having them all in school full time. But for now, I can enjoy Kyle for one more year before sending him off to school. In a way I feel relieved that he has one more year of preschool, even though I still feel it will be detrimental to him.

I will miss the kids being home today, but I’m glad that school is back in session.